Soul Possession

And so, one of the great mysteries of the XenaVerse is solved. How did Gabrielle survive that fall into the lava pit? Answer: because Ares saved her. Not a bad answer - I can buy that. We only *thought* he was running with his tail between his legs. And it's very close to a seamless fit, although since the beginning of Family Affair doesn't quite fit when Xena climbs out of the lava pit and Joxer is still mourning Gabrielle.

Half of this episode was a no-story. That whole marriage to Ares business was a crock. I couldn't figure out why their marriage vows weren't including any "and I swear to find Gabrielle" promises. Turned out it was because the contract was important, not the marriage. Then it turned out the contract was a soul-buying agreement, nothing about a marriage at all. So what was all that fuss about a marriage about? Xena guesses it's so that she can't hurt Hope, which isn't a bad try... but really?

While we're on the problems the wedding stuff had, why would anyone believe that Xena would agree to that marriage? Ares wasn't promising to save Gabrielle. The deal took it for granted that she was alive. (Although Ares mentioned Xena's morbid choice of Gabrielle's death site to be a crude place for a wedding as if she were dead.) I would believe that saving Gabrielle would be worth desperate measures. But just finding Gab? As Xena proves in Family Affair, she can do that just fine on her own.

Once again, shame on the preview-makers for giving spoilers. (And Annie hates that, too.) For the sharp-eyed, they give away the fact that Xena ends up in Annie's body. I'm going to be avoiding the previews for the series finale like plutonium.

The press conference has some huge fan nods in it. The doctor is apparently a relative of Creation Fan Club president Sharon Delaney. And Whoosh gets the spotlight as a press reporter with attitude. (She even has a nifty shirt with Whoosh's real logo on it.) On the down side, we get two rabidfans who scream for a seventh season (while, I think, mispronouncing Rob Tapert's name) and later crash the event to buttonhole Annie. Can't say it isn't an accurate overview of fandom, but the second half is less than flattering.

The doctor's presentation has a couple of huge logic problems in it:

• If the scroll explains that Xena didn't go through with the wedding, why does he announce that she and Ares married?
• If that was Joxer's scroll he was reading from, wouldn't it have given Joxer's "steely buttocks" interpretation of events? He should have been agreeing with Annie!

"Joxer never flexed a heroic muscle" is particularly brutal from the doc, especially since he's picking up at the end of Sacrifice, one of those rare times that Joxer really did come through. Sad little lip quiver from Annie as she gets paper wads tossed at her like grade school. I had to feel for the gal.

I have a lot of problems with this episode, but I did have some favorite lines, too:

"I'm just worried you're still holding out hope--guess that was a poor choice of words!"
"So you're saying you need more time, right?"
   "Ummm... no!"
"Hey, Jellybutt! Giddown here!"
"You are absolutely breathtaking."
   "Yeah? Then how come you're still breathing?"
"Leave quickly!" ("Aaaaahhhh!")
"Guess this means you got no soul. Ow!"

Harry and Mattie have an interesting personal life! Listen to Mattie as she goes through their full mailbox: "Junk... trash... S&M cata-ooo, ."

With all due respect to the actor, Ted Raimi can't do Xena. He didn't convince me in Deja Vu, he doesn't convince me now. I can't believe Ted as powerful and dangerous. I was immeasurably relieved when Ares switched the bodies back.

Meg still hasn't learned this writing concept very well. She misspells - completely by accident, I'm sure - Ares' name as A-R-S-E. Meg's brief (and that outfit was extremely brief) appearance was fun to see. Lucy still tackles Meg ("These cherries cost five dinars a bushel!") with all the gusto in her heart.

Joxer's relationship with Meg is truly twisted. She's a second choice and they all know it. And then Joxer offers her up to Ares. These two must have ended up marrying just because everyone else they knew on earth had died.

When Harry and Mattie enter the press conference, the doctor is explaining that apparently the fanfic writers in this reality have been up to some hijinks. Droning in the background is: "Of course, we here at C.H.A.K.R.A.M. were immediately concerned about the authenticity. We weren't interested in promoting a hoax like a Hitler diary or the fan fiction which pretends to be based on legitimate scrolls." Naughty fanfic writers! He then goes on to discuss consulting experts like RJ Stewart something-or-other.

Give Annie credit: I liked her zippy "And Harry's ho" line. But since Joxer pined for Gabrielle, isn't it a bit of switch that this time Annie pines for Harry?

I'm assuming this is Ted Raimi's final episode, so I was glad to see Joxer get a scene as his best kind of role: the truly faithful friend. His change of heart was bewilderingly sudden, but his support before the wedding was sweet. I can believe that Xena stowed in her dress the other things he gave her, but what happened to the new flower?

Nice touch that the wedding music sounded more like a funeral dirge.

Gutsy jump by Xena into the lava pit. Took 'er long enough!

The whole scene when Ares bargains for Xena's soul was bewildering. Gods can possess souls? What happens when they do? How does it compare to marrying in front of the fates? And why would Xena believe that Ares had Gab's soul? And that she would give it up to save Hope? Did Gab remember none of that? And now we're back to this wedding foolishness, but he wants her to be his wife in her *next* life? I think I need some subtitles to explain what the heck was going on, there.

Alas, the bathroom humor is back! Although I did chuckle a bit at "Dear God, what did you eat?!"

Annie pulls off her glasses when Xena takes over just like Melinda Pappas did four seasons ago. (Clark Kent! Superman! Annie! Xena!) Of course, Annie is a reincarnation, and Melinda was a descendent... Xena's soul really gets around!

Nice flash effect from the cameras during the Ares/Xena fight. Spiffy.

Mattie/Gabrielle is useless in this episode. She just gets swatted aside and shows up at the end to walk off with Xena's current earthly form.

It's telling that when Xena's spirit went back into the tall dark (or maybe brown)-haired chick, Mattie followed unquestioningly. They even call each other Xena and Gabrielle. Which is kind of disturbing for anyone who wants to ponder the existence of Annie and Mattie as individuals. But the blaring message here is that the important thing is the love, not the body. It was the point in both Deja Vu and here. There's one in the eye of uptight folks. 'Course, I don't know many uptight folks who would be watching this show, but the intent is still good.

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