Adventures in the Sin Trade II

We've seen both parts of this episode now, and I'm still scratching my head on a few points. These two episodes have a "great trees, weird forest" syndrome going. I adore some of the scenes, but there's some goofy problems with the whole thing when you take a step back and look at the package.

Last season, I noted a new season record for least amount of time to achieve nudity. This season fell a little behind that mark, so apparently they decided to make up for speed with quantity. Thanks for letting us know that thongs were the Undies of Warrior Babe Choice back then! The pan of Cyane in the sweat lodge was a near-duplicate of Gabrielle's from Bitter Suite, with one small difference: there's no question that there's no stunt butt being used here. Nice meeting you, Cyane!

The "remove the tablecloth, keep the flowers standing" clothes switch between Xena and Cyane was hysterical. The lady even takes Xena's gauntlets and hat, just to prove she can. I *like* her! Small note, though: where'd she get the boots she has when she books after Xena through the woods? In the end, Warlord Xena gets her hat back - and stuffs it on her head with a "so there!" look that had me rolling. Yeah, it's those moral victories that count when you're stripped naked and smacked around through the woods, Xena. Keep telling yourself that.

Warlord Xena was no dummy, though - she realizes that she can learn things from Cyane. But when does she? I didn't think much time had passed until she slaughters all the amazon leaders, yet by then she sure had their fighting style down pat.

We've graduated from hot tubs to sweat lodges. Apparently when you leave Greece, hot tubbing is out of vogue and has been replaced by steam room-ing as the favored excuse to strip down.

Great dialogue and work by Lucy Lawless when Xena and Otere chat about the effects that Xena's past actions still have and how little Xena can do to make up for them. The tear that falls struck me as being part for the still-fresh memory of Gabrielle, part for the crimes she can't repair. Xena faces a double-edged sword now; she has the key to what she can do to rebuild on the ruins that she created, but remembering that key brings with it the pain of what she's lost when she lost Gabrielle. The lady can't win.

The first part of this episode led me to believe that all this stuff that Xena and Alti were buried in was black, death magic. She said in the first part that she had promised herself she wouldn't return to this nasty stuff. And yet she crowns a shell-shocked-looking Yakut as the new shamaness - the next Alti? (with the stupidest-looking hat we've seen yet) and has all the Thunderdome Amazons dripping blood and making skulls. And are they all drinking blood for the rituals? Not the best of influences you're having on these kids, Xena.

The Thunderdome Amazon's trademark look: the deer in the headlights stare. And I guess only the Otere and Yakut actresses were paid the Speaking Role fee - the rest never utter a word. Charismatic group ya got there. They also need a serious injection of rhythym; I think the reason Alti has more power is that she can dance better.

During the first night, Xena tells everybody they have to battle Alti. They dance themselves into a frenzy, play a wicked game of London Bridges, and drop into trances - kind of. They get invaded by the dead spirits, Xena kicks 'em around a little, and then they all get up again. (Actually, we only see the spirits leave Yakut and Otere - what about the other three?) We never see those nasty spirits again, and the trance idea is forgotten. What the HECK just happened there?

In the second night, Xena has the amazons set up a charm circle to keep Alti and "her demons" busy. We didn't see a sign of the demons, but apparently it didn't work very well against spider-Alti. I haven't been able to figure out the rules of this magic. With the other exposition scenes we saw, I would have really liked to have seen one where Xena tells the new shamaness about this whole magic gig and how it works.

Funniest moment of the whole episode goes to Yakut's smack on Otere's nose to figure out if she has Xena's powers. Beautiful. Don't miss Otere's indignant elbow to Yakut's side as the camera pans away.

I tried, I really tried to take the "spritual duel" between Cyane and Alti seriously. But by the dozenth close-up of a grimace (there were 18 total - I counted!), I couldn't keep from laughing myself sick. I think we could have gotten the idea with less than ten of those neck-clenching shots.

Alti's best Darth Vader line: "You don't know the power..." of the Dark Side of the Force.

Alti's curse didn't work. She cursed Solan to never know the love of his mother or father, but at the end of Bitter Suite, he knew Xena was his mom and she told him she loved him. If the curse had been never to know it while he lived, it would come true.

The amazon tribute salute looks an awful lot like the Roman salute we saw in Destiny. I adored Warlord Xena's "salute THIS" throw when she arrives at the clearing with the amazon leaders. That woman can toss attitude like nobody's business. At the very end of the episode, despite Xena's earlier protests, Otere gives the departing Xena the salute; a sweet touch.

Xena's destruction of the amazon leaders was the nastiest I've seen her yet. To me, this beat even the wall of severed heads in Chin - this one was done with glee and enjoyment - for sport, as she said about killing the young girl they were mourning. Her ruthlessness and efficiency were amazing, and she exudes cockiness when she arrives at the clearing and taunts the amazons. I wonder what Borias's reaction was when he found out what had happened?

Xena may have abandoned the heartless cruelty of her past, but the lethal decisiveness is still there. Alti's coming, need some spiritual power... how about I just put the pinch on all of ya. Those amazons must have felt pretty stupid after hearing that story and then getting wiped out in a matter of seconds by the Warrior Princess. I guess Xena's spirit incarnation convinced them she was still on their side. Either that or this is an ultra-trusting bunch.

Slight blooper or editing mis-cut: one of the amazon leaders gets hit by a ball of spikes. The next shot looks like it's supposed to be the same amazon's swinging body, except that she's impaled by a branch instead of a ball.

Fascinating set of flash-forwards we see when Alti tries to take Xena to her death. A key quote from Alti came after the first flash, when she said they just needed to go "a little further to get to the real thing." It sounds to me like we were seeing a bunch of times when Xena was close to death, until finally the actual death would come along. In order, we saw:

• Xena standing in a burning village with a look of shock on her face.

• Xena fighting some guys in Egyptian outfits and getting the tar kicked out of her. (Loved Alti's taunt after that one: "That was interesting, huh, Xena?")

• Xena on a burning battlefield (same village as the first vision?), with Roman soldiers running around.

• Xena and Gabrielle being crucified side-by-side in the snow by Romans. Other people were already hanging on crosses behind them. Biggest item of note: Gabrielle's hair was SHORT! Wow, the pixie look was strange. They both seemed pretty resigned to the process, and gave the requisite touching death-bed declarations of love. Sweet, but not quite as cool as Xena's fire when she connects the dots to realize that Gabrielle is still alive.

(Slight historical note: crucifixions - most notably Jesus's, of course - traditionally show nails through the hands, but the studies that I've seen say that the nails really went through the wrists. The flesh in the hands wouldn't have been able to support a body's weight.)

If there's anyone out there who DIDN'T know hours in advance that the new holy word would be "love," you are hereby sentenced to flipping to the USA channel to watch a few more Xena episodes, especially any speech by Gabrielle about the power of love. How soon did Xena figure it out? When Alti was demanding to know who the blonde was, Xena said she "represents what can defeat you." Did Xena already know that the holy word would be love, which to her Gabrielle is the symbol of?

The special effects budget (and time) must have run low by the end of this episode - Cyane somehow feels like they can pass into eternity now without any real reason or even actually seeing the holy word get passed along.

Otere's assumption of Xena's power was Xena telling Otere that she's now the leader of the amazons? I was waiting for Otere to mutter "Thanks tons, warrior, but I was that way before you got here." Ah well, I suppose Xena was just making it official. And who declared Xena the leader in the first place? What a wimpy prophecy.

Overall, the manic camera shots this episode were much better used than last. I could follow all the battles this time and the really bizzarre cuts were saved for the amazon drug parties.

Add it all together, and this means the past two episodes have kind of been a shaggy-dog story. The reason for the trip was to find Gabrielle, but in the end, we're no closer to figuring out where she is. My inner GabFan (which most of my friends will tell you is not very inner) is throwing a tantrum. She's not the least bit surprised, but she's getting highly impatient waiting to see the bard again.

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

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