Adventures in the Sin Trade

Welcome to the fourth season of Xena! Judging by its first 45 minutes, severe use of recreational drugs will make you feel right at home. Whew, what a trippy episode. I liked some of the moments in it, but I'm still not sure exactly what-all went on.

First and foremost: a moment of silence for the end of Renee O'Connor's Iron Woman streak as the only character/actress to be in every single episode of Xena. (Barring flashbacks and body doubles.) She didn't even get her name in the credits on this one. Hope you enjoyed the break, Renee, and lounged somewhere sunny drinking beverages with umbrellas in them while everybody else was filming in that miserable-looking rain.

I think I've got a handle on the general point of the episode: Xena goes native and becomes a Death Shaman like Alti so she can get to the Land of the Dead. But why did that require what looked to have been a HECK of a lot of travel? Where did she end up, anyway? Cyane provides us with the interesting tidbit that there are three groups of amazons: Greek, Mesopotamian, and these guys that Xena finds. They looked like the kids from Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderdome. Alti and the orphan kid were found between Chin and Greece - is that where this amazon group is from? Judging by their outfits, they're somewhere in the Ohio Valley with the Creek or Pawnee Indians. Geography? Pah! We have as much use for geography as we have for history!

Hades continues to be the biggest pipsqueak of a deity on all Olympus. He can't protect his sister, he can't keep his helmet, and now he doesn't even know where all his dead are. ("It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your dead amazons are?") Exactly what powers does this guy have?

Did ANYone believe for a second that Xena really only wanted to ask Hades where Gabrielle went? (And did she really think there was a chance that Gab would end up in Tartarus?) I think Xena's requests would have piled up like clowns from a car: Just want to know where she went. OK, and maybe see her for just a second. Well, can we add a brief conversation in there, too? And did I mention that at the mere suggestion from the bard, I'm breaking both our hind ends outta there faster than you can blink? And if you don't like it, I'll steal your helmet and chain up your sister.

OK, it was so subtle I might have misunderstood, but I'm starting to get the impression that maybe Xena and Borias were gettin' a little frisky with each other. I kind of wondered after that horse business in The Debt, and now the hints that we get with that bearskin... OK, OK, enough sarcasm. Those two were NOT repressed people, were they?

Is it just coincidence that the girl Xena pulled down from the tree had been killed the same way that Cyane was killed? I'm doubtin' it.

New season, new battle move from Xena: the four-person head-knocker! That was mighty impressive.

In a sick, twisted, dreading kind of way, Xena's grief at the funeral pyre was what I've been waiting four months to see. That was a great scene, doubly touching because it was at the pyre of someone else, since Xena wasn't able to give Gabrielle a funeral. And in the midst of that sorrow was the affirmation that "Even in death, Gabrielle, I will never leave you" - Xena was preparing to follow up on that promise even as she mourned. I love that they showed the splash fight from A Day in the Life when Xena talked about the joy Gab brought; that's one of my all-time favorite moments of pure fun.

The leader of the Thunderdome Amazons says she heard Xena's wailing when she was a kid, except that the flashbacks never show Xena wailing over Anokin. Speaking of which, I was right there with Borias in wondering why the heck Xena cared about that girl. She showed up as Alti's prize looking like she had just smoked something really interesting, and the next time we see her warlord-Xena is getting emotional about her death. Urrr?

The theme "look" of this episode: Xena alone. We see Xena alone in close-up, Xena alone in long shots, Xena alone on horseback, walking, crouched in cave... when Xena said Gabrielle was "the ONLY friend," she wasn't kidding. Without Gabrielle, Xena's as solitary as the Sphinx. And does the hippy hippy shakes a lot. I do NOT envy Lucy Lawless the work she must have done on this episode - a lot of lone camera work in cold rain and weird outfits doing things like dancing around dead animals and fires. And crying and muttering a lot. That's gotta be tough to shake when it's time to go home at the end of the day. But kudos to her for pulling out all the stops for us.

The Berserker is introduced with the grim words that he's "killed every warrior he's ever met in combat." But isn't that true of all warriors except the dead ones?

Anokin (not Skywalker) was a bit harsh on Xena in the Land of the Dead. The kid was strung out with Alti all that time, and XENA'S the one who poisoned her soul? But at least it led to the fabulous line: "I hate the dead. You can't take vengeance on them."

Xena did a stint as a cult chick. I really dug Alti as a villain - she's got some serious nasty style. She has a neat glower and those funky hand gestures to draw you in close enough to rip your heart out. And heavy eye makeup to let everyone know she's a baddie. But what is it about powerful spiritualist women that makes them want to tutor Xena? Warlord Xena was not exactly prime student material.

Right on the heels of getting the "Warrior Princess" moniker from Lao Ma, she gets another one hung on her neck by Alti that we know has stuck: "Destroyer of Nations."

I really like Xena's decision to turn around and help the Amazons instead of going on to find Gabrielle. What a choice; join Gab and give up what made her precious, or honor her and walk away from the chance to see her. As Xena said, she can try again later to return to Gabrielle, but personally I'm betting that all this business with Alti is going to weave into Gabrielle, anyway.

Those Thunderdome Amazons are a volatile bunch - one story about a warrior woman from the past, and they're ready to slice and dice the body of the woman who just buried their friend and kicked their enemy's butts. I love their way of approaching prone people - their advice to deal with Xena is "Poke her!" and they get a few good licks in on the Berserker just to make sure he's dead before joining Xena post-fight. (Listen to the hits: Wop! Pow!)

How did Xena know that guy the Thunderdome Amazons had kidnapped was from Alti? And by the way, Alti lays quite a kiss on that flunky when he gets back - right after chewing him out. What the heck was THAT all about? I felt like that scene got cut mid-line; did we miss something else that was supposed to happen?

Looks like Xena's still got Gabrielle's scrolls in those saddlebags she's carrying around. We saw one sticking out as Xena dedicates the fight against Alti to Gab. Awwww. I hope she's got Gab's staff in there, too, 'cause I'm sure we'll be seeing the bard reeeaaaal soon now - RIGHT, GUYS?

I need a schematic drawing to figure out what happened in the fight between the Berserker and Xena; with the over-manic camera work, I wasn't sure who got the best of who after each swing until I could see who was still standing. Xena's sword does some interesting work in that fight. For some incomprehensible reason, Xena doesn't even draw it until the second horse pass, then it's suddenly back in her scabbard again, then has leaped back into her hand.

Alti's "new power that she has... the one that makes you relive your past..." Yes, Xena? You're completely hosed, or a host of less polite words for how badly that little trick will get you where you live? "It's a toughie." A *toughie*? I laughed for five minutes when she said that. The Warrior Princess says "toughie." Nice to end the episode on a camp note.

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

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