The Xena Scrolls
In a nutshell: In 1942, a brave archeologist and her visitor dig up scrolls about a legendary hero named Xena. But this time, the tall one with the dark hair is the sidekick.
A clip show. I usually hate clip shows. I understand the use
of them - they allow the crew to take five in the midst of a
busy season, to only shoot 15 minutes out of a 40 minute
episode. The problem is, clip shows are usually framed by
simple excuses for reminiscings, which doesn't give us
anything new to enjoy in between footage we've already seen.
ATHENS CITY ACADEMY OF THE PERFORMING BARDS, season 1's
clip show for Xena, had your basic reminiscing premise -
yawn.
XENA SCROLLS took a different tack. In addition to giving our star ladies a little less work to do for this episode, it let them get a major change of pace by cutting their teeth on wildly different characters. It was fun and worked into a decent excuse for some flashbacks. None too shabby for a clip show!
I *loved* the idea of the descendents of Xena and Gabrielle switching roles. This time, the short blonde was the grim leader with the less-than-stellar past. The tall, dark-haired one was the unlikely fish-out-of-water sidekick who chose to defend the hero and stick beside her. Despite the protests and frustration of the small fighter, she fiercely protected her blue-eyed tagalong. My biggest disappointment with this episode was when Xena showed up to switch the roles back into the place we normally see them. I was enjoying watching the tables get reversed.
Lucy gives a great over-baked deep-fried southern accent. She even gets to wear near-normal clothes for a while. What a nice change of pace that must have been!
Janice Covington gets one of the great entrances of all time. To paraphrase Salmoneus: Those boots... that whip... that jacket... Indiana Jones meets Humphrey Bogart, with the camp turned up to 11 on the one-to-ten meter. Renee chewed her way through every piece of scenery like gangbusters, especially in that opening scene. Watch her glee when she gets to the gatling gun (and nice reflexes on the bad guy!).
The collapsing stairs at the entrance to Ares' tomb were the same ones used to Ares' detriment in TEN LITTLE WARLORDS.
My personal favorite joke: Mel sets off the flying knife trap in the tomb, to the shock of Janice, the screams of Jacques S'Er, and the quick cover of "oops." from Mel. Great reactions all around.
Nit-picking blooper: when Mel is knocked out by the chakram fusing, she falls to the ground with no sign of a sword anywhere near her, but a sword (maybe even Ares' sword, by the look of it) is right at hand when Xena crawls back up.
Awesome knife-throwing from thin air by Ares. How studly can you get?
I know the role is designed to be cheesy, so maybe it's just the high camp getting in the way, but I have a hard time buying Renee as a tough-as-nails broad. The snarl just doesn't convince me most of the time. On the other hand, she handles those physical stunts with gusto! She throws straight-arm punches like she could knock a tank for a loop, and tosses around a pretty mean whip! (Compare it to the convenient cuts that are made for Lucy's whip use in GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN - of course, to give her the benefit of the doubt, that may have been because she had to worry about having Renee right behind her.)
In case you were wondering, here's the episodes that the clips are from. Interestingly, these are all first season episodes: despite being a second season clip show, we don't see any footage from this season.
The ladder fight: CALLISTOQuibble time: As the door to Ares' tomb is sliding shut, Jack Kleinman throws himself under the door and struggles without success to keep it open. Perfectly within Joxer's usual style. But then, when Mel and Janice hesitate, Jack turns and runs. Bzzzt, wrong guess, minus five. True, the descendents don't HAVE to act exactly like their ancestors, but in all the times we've seen him, Joxer has never run out on Xena and Gabrielle. He's frequently useless, sometimes causing more trouble than he solves, but he never turns his back on his friends. He's loyal that way. Kind of like a puppy.
Ares' come-hither speech: THE RECKONING
(THE MUMMY and WOLFMAN, a'course.)
Marcus's story: MORTAL BELOVED
Gabrielle beats the stuffing out of Joxer: CALLISTO, again
Callisto grabs the chakram: CALLISTO, a third time
Gab drugged. Still funny after all these episodes: ALTARED STATES
Gabrielle's protection of Terreis: HOOVES AND HARLOTS
Xena revives Gabrielle: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
"Closer than blood" speech: TIES THAT BIND
Very fun blooper: in the final 1940 scene, watch when Jack throws Janice's backpack on his shoulder. Several of the scrolls fly out and hit Lucy, who tries very studiously to ignore it so they can keep shooting.
So, what does this actually tell us about Xena and Gabrielle's future? Not a whole heck of a lot. Ares is entombed in an elaborate place that's been set for him, including that Eye of Haephestus deal that suggests that the gods were involved in his imprisonment. Xena's chakram is broken and kept here, and Gabrielle's scrolls also find a resting place here. There's nothing that actually says that Xena was the one who imprisoned him, although if we follow typical curse logic, if a descendent must release him, she probably did the imprisoning. In short, we don't learn much at all. The writers haven't committed themselves to diddly.
Return to the Wool-Gatherings.
Rate-A-Xena is brought to you by the letter omega, the number IV, and Beth Griese. Feel free to send any comments or questions my way!