The Quill is Mightier

OK, folks, time for a new rule. The Xena writers have got to cut back on the number of controlled substances in their system while they work. This was one of the strangest episodes I've seen yet. Yeah, it was funny sometimes. But this was in deep farce territory, with a barely-strung-together story to provide excuses for the gags. I'd rather sacrifice goofy antics for coherence, not vice versa.

Ares has finally clued in to the fact that Gabrielle is a key to Xena's life. He took note of her for the first time in The Furies; this time he actually worked to get her out of the way. He was on the right track, but it ended up backfiring; Ares and Gabrielle discovered that they have common ground in their hero-worship of Xena. Who'da thunk it? Great "I didn't like it." "Right back at ya." "OK." reactions from them. But even though they wanted to deny it, Ares was darned affectionate with Gabrielle when he left, and for once, Ares' trademark fading laugh isn't sinister. It's genuinely amused, instead.

Cameo Appearance of the Month award goes to Minya's welcome return to celebrate all us geek fans. And she's been practicing with that whip! A Day in the Life is fast becoming the episode that is most often referred to by other episodes. Must be a favorite of the writers as well as the fans.

I would have given a week's take-home pay to see the look on Renee O'Connor's face when she read the script and got to the part about the three naked Gabrielle go-go girls. It's only fair: we've seen Xena nekkidness a few times, Gab had some catching up to do.

"She awoke with a jerk." Best joke of the episode - very, very funny. The first time. Didn't need to hear it four times to get it.

Joxer is a terrible warrior, but he's not too shabby as a romantic. Gabrielle awaking to the necklace and Joxer's quiet admission that he bought it for her with his scabbard was actually touching. Too bad Gabrielle didn't at least recognize the gift - and Joxer never did get the scabbard back, did he? Joxer got decent treatment in this script; he came up with some respectable ideas sometimes. Instead of being justifiably ignored this episode, he was underappreciated. Go fig. (One notable exception: he used the scroll for his poetry attempt? Dum-dum on the highest level.)

Joxer was right: it was an octopus. Was the squid/octopus debate an in-ref to the "squid" that Gabrielle ate in Lost Mariner that was really an octopus?

OK, everybody, repeat after me:
   Here's the line.
   Jokes about fish and hygiene are on thaaaaaaat side of it.
I can't believe they went there.

I liked some of the clever word tricks: Minya's appearance with Xena's whip, Aphrodite losing her power because she was the force that enchanted the scroll. But the script tried to get TOO clever. Gabrielle alternated between using names to very accurately identify people and being too scared to use a name for fear of being misinterpreted. "Xena returns to Gabrielle" was really that tough to think of to write?

I had guessed that you could bounce a quarter off of Gab's Abs, but a sword point? None-so-subtle wink at the audience - between that and Ares' dreamy "Leather... mention the leather" description for Xena, I'd say the XenaStaff are very much in tune with what the fans love to dwell on.

The music while Minya is waxing fannish over Ares and Aphrodite is the same music she got for the Warrior Princess Haze in A Day in the Life.

Apparently, when gods become mortal, they're required to get drunk and belch. Must be in the Olympian handbook. Ares did it in Ten Little Warlords, now it's Aphrodite's turn. Mortality wasn't easy on the gods - Ares turns cowardly, Aphrodite gets messy. (Sorry, I wasn't buying "plain." If that's plain, 95% of the world is absolutely homely, Lord help us all.)

Joxer, inventor of the beer cap! Football fanatics everywhere now know who to thank.

XenaStaff seems to want Aphrodite to be annoying but sympathetic. But wow, that "I'm gonna end up like you!" wail at Minya was a low blow. That's NOT the way to make a character likeable, folks.

Picking at logic problems in this episode is a bit akin to shooting fish in a barrel, but I can't pass up this one without comment: "Aphrodite, Minya: you go to town... Ares and I will go where it's raining dinars..." which was... town.

By the time we got to the caves where Gabrielle had been sending people, I was getting pretty lost. Why was everyone suddenly after the scroll? (Except the Go-Go Gabbies - they were just looking for an audience.) Nobody should have figured that out except the peddler.

Gratuitous slapstick alert. Ever-alert Xena is accidentally smacking Joxer senseless with fish as she tells her story? Not necessary, especially since the matter-of-fact rundown on the parade was funny on its own: "I took it off a merchant, who was being chased by some barbarians, who were being chased by three naked Gabrielles..."

I'm going to go drink heavily, then watch this episode again. I bet it'll make perfect sense then.

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

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