A Tale of Two Muses

This is a popcorn episode. It's light, it's fluffy, and it's easily forgettable ten minutes after it's gone. It's also pretty bland... unless you use some of that seasoned salt or valvoline butter on it, but then it gets bad for you, and... ummm, have I lost track of my metaphor?

Like all goofy dance movies, everyone in a town that doesn't allow dancing knows how to dance. I'm no expert, but I spotted Arabic (or maybe Gypsy) dance, Irish jigs and reels, ballroom dancing (including some serious stunts),tap, line dancing, Greek folk, a tango, a conga line, and the funky chicken. These people have some serious range. And the most astonishing of all - Gabrielle. This woman's come a long way from the girl in the amazon village who couldn't keep a beat. Has she been taking a Fredagon Astarius correspondence course while she's been on the road?

These town residents shift their opinions faster than weather vanes. "Dancing is evil!" "RIGHT! " "No! We should dance for the sake of children!" "RIGHT! " "Oh, look, Gabrielle, another townful of villagewes." I guess that's what happens when you don't have enough budget to have both pro AND con townsfolk.

"Save some for me?" This from our usually fight-reluctant bard? But she does a nice leap into the fray... and then she almost manages to clock Xena with that staff. Whoops! Other lines of Gab's seemed harsh this episode, too: her pompous speech about poetry, her accusations of Tara, her brusque attitude with the leatherworker (who suddenly became a steelsmith for the sake of tap), and her defense of her new gig as speechwriter.

Great sneer from Xena when Istafan tried to bluster past her!

Dancing movie cliche #2: where there's a beat, there's a band. Gab starts gettin' down for the town, and suddenly has a whole orchestra backup. THEN the villagewes join in, and of course the town where there's no dancing also has darned fine musicians to play a snappy tune for the big finale.

Hey, look, kids, we got a toilet flush and a zipper sound effect for yuks, even though there's... no toilet and no zipper. Next.

I kept waiting to find out why Gabrielle was afflicted with severe happy feet this episode as she did the sneaky shimmies behind EVERYbody's back - and sometimes to their fronts. I expected to find out that maybe Calliope was trying to tell us something, but never did. Sure, whatever.

Xena is apparently a regular customer at the Pigeon Express office. Watch as Xena fills in Autolycus on what's going on - between their heads and behind them, you can see Gabrielle filling in Tara at the same time.

Bad choice to talk about Thebes and swindled kings before the line about the "King of Thieves." The first time I saw this scene I couldn't figure out why Autolycus was taking a dis at the King of Thebes so personally.

NEAT camera work and effects during Philipon the Southern Baptist's sermon, complete with organ music and thunder in the background. The silhouette dance was also a gorgeous number - and a great song. It's too bad Xena and Gab were nowhere to be seen for the two best scenes of the episode.

"Extremism in the defense of piety is no vice:" never knew that Barry Goldwater cribbed from the King of Thieves, did you?

Why does Xena cheese it up so much when she's instructing the "kids" in martial arts? If the idea is to plant the seed that this extremism may not be such a good idea, she should have been scaring the pants off the villagewes. And could have easily done so.

Xena's speech to Tara didn't make much sense to me: why did she keep harping on Tara about running away? Tara didn't run away from anything in the first episode when we met her, and Xena doesn't have much experience with turning tail, either. Why was she talking as if they're both experts on it?

Autolycus scurries away with the Line of the Episode award for his "I can tell: you need to get-" speech. Made me laugh out loud. He also wins style points for that great "get down and funky" gesture with his "Let's dance!" line.

A question: Calliope is the muse of poetry. What does dancing have to do with her? And if the villagewes were so extreme in their devotion, wouldn't a lot of the speeched and sermons be in rhyme? And wouldn't Gabrielle, the bard who was just composing poems on their way to the town, go through the roof with this notion that her muse would outlaw fun and expression of any sort?

Also a question: who is the second muse in this title? Obviously we're dealing with Calliope, but other than to copy a Dickens book title (which also has nothing to do with this episode), why mention two muses?

Gabrielle's the dancing queen in this episode. Xena only does some real dance a couple of times - she participates in a couple of others with war moves and some NICE staff work. But Gab boogies down like nobody's business - you go, Renee! She looked ready to join a Janet Jackson video in the dance number with all the villagewe's "kids." Xena finally gets a fed up with all the fancy footwork from her bard and does a "top THAT, twinkletoes" mid-air flip to put an end to the episode. Can't argue with gravity-defying leaps, Gab, don't even try. Give 'er a hug instead.

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