The God You Know

Wow, give it up for the ex-goddess of love: Aphrodite is the central pivot on which this whole episode turns. Caligula wants to steal her godhood. Ares wants to protect her. Gabrielle also wants to save her friend. Xena is more worried about Eve, but will save some concern for Aphrodite, too. And Aphrodite accomplishes all this while sitting stoned as a skunk through most of the episode, barely managing to stand. Gabrielle makes much of the fact that she now officially considers the goddess of love her friend. It doesn't seem to make much of an impression on the strung-out surfer babe, but that's quite a kiss Aphrodite tries to lay on Gab. It's probably a good thing that Caligula found them, who just gives a bunch of vague threats, instead of Xena, who probably would have chakramed Aphrodite's spaced-out head to the wall.

Michael says that Caligula killed Tiberius to gain the throne. What happened to Octavius?

Check out the guy that Caligula has stab him in the gut - when did Keanu Reeves agree to do a cameo on Xena?

Other than to continue the Christian parallels, why does Caligula call the followers of Eli "Elijians"? His name's not Elijah.

Speaking of Christian parallels, Eve's line about giving unto Caesar that which is Caesar's is Mark 12:17. But we all better make a pact not to let the Religious Right know that the Archangel Michael is turning into a bad guy on the show. The last thing we need is a boycott organization before the show gets to finish up.

Nice hat wiggle from Gabrielle when Caligula shoves her out of the way!

Xena's "Saba" costume is pretty cool, especially those overhead shots of her with the mask that were so nice, the director had to give them to us twice. Her mini-costume is pretty zippy, too, especially with the unveiling that Gabrielle gives it. Gab doesn't get as spiffy of costumes this time, but she makes up for it with some extended nekkid-in-the-tub shots.

So what the heck IS Caligula? Where did he get this succubus power to drain gods dry? What's with the voices in his head? (At first I thought Hera was toying with his brain until I remembered that she's long gone.) And why does he need to slowly steal godhood; is there a limit on how much he can take at a time? We never get a good explanation of what he is and how he got there.

And as long as we're on the subject of Caligula's character... I saw a posing, fey, powerdrunk homicidal madman. And a pretty pathetic fellow. He's supposed to be a sex maniac, but he never gets beyond groping a couple of folks (I'm being gender-neutral since I lost track of the arms and legs) providing him entertainment at the bacchanalia. He even says he "can't" join Xena, Gab, and Ares in their show. Why on earth not? Methinks he's all talk and no show. Lots of preening, but lots of chicken flinches every time something happens. Most of the episode, he just made me think of a bad Doctor Franknfurter impersonator in search of the next Rocky Horror showing.

I liked the plot touch that said that the Goddess of Love would be out of balance without a God of War. Including the fact that Aphrodite, once she lost her godhood, was perfectly sound and sane again, since she was no longer out of balance. Interesting idea.

Lately, Xena and Gabrielle are breaking into vaudeville shows every time they want to stall. Gabrielle's performance was... well, weird. I'm not sure what holding some fireballs and walking on some convenient tabletops was supposed to do, but it sure caught Aphrodite's attention. Xena's attempt at a show is much more direct, and wow, it sure makes Caligula forget what it was he just ordered her to do. Her "show" was a bit of a reach, but her lip bite to let Caligula know she could get him was a VERY nifty touch.

Xena's whole sell to Caligula of herself as "the Celtic goddess of sex" was pretty cool, but she really outdid herself when she waved her arms to get Caligula's own guards to let her walk out of the room. Oh, that was SO cool.

Eve, Eve, Eve. Writers, writers, writers. If I've said it once, I've said it a dozen times: turning good/devoted/religious does not mean that you've turned idiotic. Eve, the former military commander of Rome, should know that a war of words or ideas can be waged just like a war of weapons, and should have been trying to accomplish a heck of a lot more than throwing herself in front of the sword, crouching in a cave, and being suckered out as XenaBait. Eve must not have inherited Mom's strategy mind, no matter how well she did as a military commander. Made me doubly glad when Xena clocked her.

The scene when Xena convinced Caligula that he wants to kill Eve publicly had a couple of bad cuts in it. The most noticeable was when Caligula gets the idea and spins around to a sound effect - and completely different lighting.

Michael is none too bright; he pursues his goal with such blind drive that he doesn't notice when he's destroyed his own mission. He sends Xena to kill Caligula. Then he draws out Eve for Caligula to capture, I suppose to encourage Xena to step up the assassination attempts. Then he tries to kill Aphrodite to keep her from preventing Xena from killing Caligula. Then when Xena gets a little upset about all this, he/Eli/their God takes away Xena's god-killing power... and all the work that Michael has done has been for naught. And he disappears with an evil laugh, as if he hasn't even noticed that his whole plan for Caligula is now shot to hell, pardon the pun.

Nifty twitching wing effect when Michael had the pinch on him, although he violated a couple of neck-pinch rules when he was able to tread water and shake hair out of his face. Xena was about to kill an archangel with her bare hands... now THAT'S a cheesed-off warrior princess. Advice to all comers: don't mess with Xena's daughter and "girlfriends."

The chariot race was very cool, don't get me wrong. It was an excellent action sequence. But it also provided a few hilarious sights. Watch Xena's horses: at the beginning and end of the race, she has a black horse on her left and a brown horse on her right. During the race, the horses switch position about a dozen times. Also, the race produces some remarkable changes in Xena and Caligula. Caligula gets bulkier and his hair turns curly. Xena also bulks up and, I believe, turns male in a few shots.

Excellent writing in the scene when Xena convinces Caligula to kill himself. That was a vicious, nasty piece of work; totally necessary, but no wonder Xena feels dirty when it's all done. But with that said, there are two exceptions to the great lines. One was the "do you feel lucky" shtick - that SO didn't belong in this scene. The second was Xena's "the only person in Rome who could kill Caligula was Caligula" line. As if we needed that explained to us?

Line of the episode goes to Ares for his much-expected "Welcome to my nightmare." Loved Aphrodite's annoyance at not being able to zap anything. She even looks a little less polished than normal, without her godliness to shine up her 'do.

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

	Web www.bethgriese.com