Send in the Clones

I was surprised to see this episode unfold the way it did; I thought we'd already had this season's clip episode in You Are There. But now, only three episodes later, we got another clip episode. And a huge clip episode at that; out of a 44 minute show, clips took up 13 minutes. I liked the premise a lot; take a piece from all the headlines about cloning and bring Xena and Gabrielle into the modern day. But it seemed like this episode only scratched the surface of the fun that could have been had with this. Maybe the surface-scratching problem was because of how stuffed the episode was with the clips.

One of my favorite things about this show has been the amazingly creative ways they've done clip shows. But this one pulled out all the tired "Remember when?" cliched ways to present clips. Xena was like Pavlov's dog; every time anyone said the magic words "Think about," Xena was gone in another set of flashbacks. Alti could have won her fight if she'd just yelled "Hey Xena! Think about all the times I kicked your butt!" and then proceeded to do so while Xena was still head-rolling.

I don't mean to sound like I hated the episode - I didn't. They picked quite a cross-section of fans: a rabid Xena butt-kicker, a rabid Xena subtexter and Gabfan, and a rabid Joxerfan. The casting of Doctor Polly and Clea were fun in- jokes; Polly (whose name really is Polly) has served as a body double for Lucy/Xena ever since Dreamworker right up through playing the Xena-actress wannabe who ran off with Minya in The Play's the Thing. And playing fangirl Clea was Alison Wall, who also played Xena's original fangirl, Minya. I didn't catch any in-joke for Mac - he's an actor from episodes of old, too, but never a fanboy.

Moments that made me laugh:

• "I want long hair, like classic Gabby!"
  "Only in the reruns, babe."
  (And watch Clea's sad sniff/hug of the lock of hair)
• Mac rubs his eye through his glass-less glasses.
• "SHE KEPT HER BOOTS ON!"
• The eyebrow arch as one of the first things to come back to life on Xena.
• After Polly smacks Mac for saying that being forced to behave would be good, one of the two tells him "That's gross!"
• Gabrielle's nervous check of the drooling Clea.
• Mac sneaks a pizza crust that Xena had chewed on into his pocket.
• The giraffe guy's reaction to Xena. "It was awesome, man." Xena could have ended up becoming a folk hero, even as her bad self.

One small nitpick with Alexis's line about getting digital transfers so that there would be no loss of signal to the clones' brains: these are transfers of a TV image. You can't get much worse loss of signal.

The three fans all have appropriate fan clothes, although a limited wardrobe; I think each of them wear at least one item of clothing on multiple days. Clea wears Gabrielle and the white Xena-and-Gab friendship shirt. Polly wears Callisto and evilXena shirts. Mac wears Joxer shirts and a winter hat with earflaps, probably the closest modern equivalent to the Joxer hat there is.

Were these three mega-fans, plus Xena and Gabrielle, never supposed to notice the Alti lookalike?

Claire Stansfield has already commented in conventions about what a fun episode this was for her, and I can see why. Nifty clothes AND a cool car to kick Xena's butt with. Not bad!

Within the span of five minutes, Mac says subtext makes him puke and that it's fine with him as long as he gets to watch. That's trying to fit so many stereotypes into one character that he's schizophrenic.

Why did Alexis have to sneak into her own lab?

Nifty shot of the episode: the reflections from the tv screen on Xena's face.

Another fun in-joke: "Wind Beneath My Wings" really is the music that Creation plays during their montage to Xena and Gabrielle at conventions.

This entire show could have been filled with nothing but Xena and Gabrielle discovering the modern world. I was disappointed that it gets almost totally bypassed. The two moments we saw that I liked were Gabrielle trying to figure out the straw and cup, and Xena's disdainful shoot and toss of the gun as an inferior weapon.

Another shtick that could have occupied an entire episode: Xena and Gabrielle's "That's not how that happened!" discussion.

I realized there's two things I haven't missed at all this season: Joxer as a slapstick device, and bathroom humor. Unfortunately, both came back this episode. Apparently Xena's evil side also means she dumps food on the floor and gets excited about relieving herself. I did kind of like her "got some sugar and fat" trick, though.

One of the news broadcast clips of the carnage Xena has created is the same clip that was shown to Xena and Gabrielle about the terrible state the world is in. This was either a very deep and meaningful attempt to show that the fans had unleashed the exact chaos they sought to contain... or they just ran out of clips of mayhem.

Xena, while in the throes of remembering the worst moments with Gabrielle, asks Alti why she brought Gab back. I had been wondering the same thing most of the episode. Alti says it's as a gift to Xena, I guess thinking that if Xena kills Gab, Alti will have free reign over her. Alti apparently missed the Bad Guy Memo that went out around second season to tell everyone that ploy never works.

WOW, Alti hops into a car fast! Xena even comments on it with "You sure move fast." That must be how Alti escaped that really great shot of the car crunching right down on her - and why Xena isn't fooled for a second.

At long last, one of the fans (WHY did they go with Alti?) tries to be helpful. Polly fails spectacularly, but at least it was an attempt. The collective worst geek moment was their voiceover "thoughts" once Xena and Gab were resurrected. Jackie Chan butt-kicking, the horniness of their stars, and Ellen seasons. Couldn't any of them had an actual helpful or thoughtful moment in the episode?

That was a generally awesome fight between Xena and Alti. Xena's jump down to the car roof to kick Alti sure looked more like a fall than a kick, though - that looked painful!

For once, Xena and Gabrielle surviving death surprised me. I figured they could safely kill off clones in a time where they didn't belong. But instead, they happily ride off in the only taxi in the world equipped with champagne and crystal glasses. Fly and be free, clones!

I'm going to really break the geek bank and try to identify all the clips in the episode. Wish me luck!

First clip:

• Xena and Alti shaman fight - Them Bones

The fighting sequence:

• The new chakram - Chakram
• The fight on the swings - Eve
• The battle with Athena - Motherhood
• The flip over the roadblock - Amphipolis Under Siege
• Fight at the barn door - One Against an Army
• Xena as Kali - The Way
• Fight with Lucifer - Heart of Darkness

Evil Xena sequence:

• New Xena is born - Destiny
• Amazon slaughter - Adventures in the Sin Trade I
• The row of heads - The Debt
• Xena as the conqueror putting Gabrielle on the cross - Armageddon Now II, a Hercules episode

Gabrielle sequence:

• "I want to be like you" - One Against an Army
• Failing the first test - The Way

Fightin' Gab sequence:

• Gabrielle killing Energizer bunny - Ides of March

Consequences of evil:

• Speech to the village about Callisto - A Necessary Evil

Couch potato clips:

• Getting on horseback - Sins of the Past
• Gab piping - The Prodigal
• Xena holding Gab while she cries - A Good Day
• Gab munching squid - Lost Mariner
• Gab's revival - Is There a Doctor in the House
• The hot tub splash fight - A Day in the Life

The smooches (which Xena really likes):

• Gab's wedding - Return of Callisto
• Snow White and Warrior Princess Charming - Return of the Valkyrie

Joxer-rama:

• Callisto
• Back in the Bottle
• Callisto
• Sacrifice
• and, again, Callisto

Alti and Xena:

• Adventures in the Sin Trade I and II
• Past Imperfect
• Adventures in the Sin Trade I

Xena as a baddie:

• The Rheingold

The whole Rift set:

• Gabrielle hands Xena over - The Debt I
• Solan's death - Maternal Instincts
• The GabDrag - Bitter Suite
• The little girl in the catapults - Past Imperfect
• Little girl and the arrow - Amphipolis Under Siege

The anti-Rift set:

• Sacrifice
• One Against an Army
• Family Affair
• Ides of March
• Dangerous Prey
• Sacrifice

Also in the truly geeky vein: Series (aka Season) 2, episode 11 is Here She Comes, Miss Amphipolis (which has no campfire scene at all), and series 4, episode 7 is Locked Up and Tied Down (also campfire scene-less).

For those of us keeping tally, there are now clones, reincarnations, AND descendents of Xena running around. Look at your neighbor closely!

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

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