Bitter Treat

Weird. Very, very weird. I enjoyed Bitter Suite, and enjoyed it more after the first viewing and my brain wrapped around this idea (which may not be a good sign for casual Xena viewers). I don't want to see it done every week, and you'd have to convince me to see it done every season, but it was a fun change of pace.

When XenaStaff gives something a try, every one of them gives it 100% effort. The whole production crew - set design, art direction, special effects, costuming, you name it, had a FIELD DAY. They may have all been ready for the loony bin by the end of it, but they get heaps of credit for the boldness of this episode regardless of how people react to it.

Let's look at this from a practical standpoint first: why a musical episode? It makes sense, actually: this had to tackle deep emotions and deal with a lot of soul-searching and angst. Done in script, it would have cloying and slow, with almost non-existent action and lots of grim emoting. Even in song, that forgiveness business was high on the cornball factor. But breaking into song and dance lets the writers get away with a lot of emotions and themes that otherwise would have been syrupy and stilted, and a trip to the non-reality side covers a multitude of story and emotion sins. So, a musical it is!

Was it only a matter of time before Xena slipped into warlord mode given all that had happened? And this slip was more like a swan dive. Xena fought the Amazons with glee, whipped Argo as she rode (!! - there's something we haven't seen before), and flattened Ephiny and Joxer. All in the name of vengeance. Fighting the thirst for revenge has been one of the themes of X:WP; it was a quest for revenge that took Xena into being a warlord in the first place. She counsels people against seeking revenge (think of Goliath in Giant Killer, or Melas in Callisto). But Xena gives in to vengeance this time, and ouch, what a nasty vengeance. Gabrielle's one tough cookie for having survived that horse-dragging, let alone being able to stand up and fight afterwards.

Give Joxer credit; he doesn't accomplish much, but he stood up against Xena to protect Gabrielle. Too bad he was a fly for Xena to brush away, but at least he had the heart to try.

Gabrielle stunt butt, or the real thing? There was a convenient cut in that first shot in the Amazon hut. Operators are standing by for your votes.

Ephiny thinks that Gabrielle is in the purification hut over Hope's death. But Callisto got right to the heart of the matter. It's her disillusionment with Xena that's the problem. Even when Callisto gets Gabrielle to scream that "Yes!" she hates Xena, what Joxer hears outside the hut is "No!" Gabrielle is fighting the anger and hatred to the bitter end (sorry, couldn't resist the pun). It takes a long horse-dragging and the sight of Xena totally lost to her violent side that finally draws the real "I hate you!" out of her - and pitches them over the waterfall. And that's when the cosmic timeout gets called and Xena and Gabrielle are sent to their corners.

Illusia does NOT center on both Xena and Gabrielle. Yes, Gab has issues she has to - and does - deal with in the course of the show, but it's Xena who's the center of it, and on whom rests what happens. When Callisto introduces Illusia, she says that going through it is Xena's choice, her last chance at stopping before she sinks totally into darkness. "Gamble the worth of you on the rebirth of you," and Callisto tells Xena that "The darkness that rots you has brought you to this." It's only after Xena decides to spin the wheel and accept Illusia that Gabrielle surfaces and the learning begins.

So Xena and Gabrielle go through some peace negotiations via the School of Hard, But Very Musical, Knocks. Take a look at the steps they hit; all in all, not a bad recipe for reconciliation.

• BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR: Xena and Gabrielle are led by their guides (Callisto and Joxer) to everything they wish they could have been without the other: Xena at the head of an army with Ares by her side, Gabrielle snug in Poteidaia surrounded by people who love her. Once again, evil calls Xena by name: it seems that armies chanting her name is one of her favorite things. Whenever she's being tempted back into warlord mode, it comes with her name being called. Gabrielle's name is chanted, too, in a happy sing-song by the village of Poteidaia. Seems to be ideal to both of them.

• Xena's return to an army has its obvious problems with brutality, violence, and blood. They urge her on: "Vengeance can be such a hoot," which is, of course, the whole problem that brought her here. Gabrielle's return to Poteidaia has its problems, too. These people are the lotus eaters: "Vegetate until you die!" they proclaim. Gab's wishful thinking has as many problems in it as Xena's does.

• So both still have trouble, still have guilt, even given what they want. They get madder, and their choruses urge them to taking out their anger in a very physical way. As Gabrielle is handed the scythe by one villager, the flowers she had been holding are yanked away by another. So much for peace.

• The heroes reach each other and get to work through some issues - with fatal results for Gab. Callisto is the one who asks Xena whether she feels any better now that she's killed Gabrielle. Psycho Barbie is now the poster child for the lack of fulfillment that revenge brings. With the shock of the deed, and when Xena realizes that this may not be such a great bargain after all, Callisto and Joxer disappear. Their jobs are done; now Xena and Gab are left alone to work things out.

• Great squirming from Xena when Gabrielle accuses in disbelief "You killed me!" We've never seen Xena look so abashed.

• Ares wins the trophy for face-slappin'-cold-dissin' line of the year: "Nothing more need be said. Ding dong. The bitch is dead." That'll leave a mark.

• LET'S GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER: Xena and Gab have to give up a lot of resentment: they aren't allowed to talk about "you always"es and "you never"s. They have a direct issue to deal with: the situation with Hope and Solan, Gabrielle's lie, and Xena's vengeance.

• FIND SOME COMMON GROUND: They start really talking when they're willing to share how much they're both hurting and how badly the attack by Dahak, Hope's birth, and Solan's death has destroyed them. They have open some channels now, but when Xena and Gabrielle slide back into blame and anger, Dahak makes his appearance. And Xena, despite the bickering, tries to save Gabrielle. Hey, it's a start.

• DECISION TIME: "This is where it started" - Gabrielle and Xena get pulled back to the beginning of the trouble, Dahak's altar. Ming T'ien, Ares, Caesar, Kraftstar, and Callisto are raised from coffins; they're the dead that won't die. Guilt, bitterness, and hate keep them alive long past when they should have been buried. Leading the charge for Xena and Gab's torment are their own dark sides. The evil Xena has all-black eyes just like she did in Dreamworker. This time, we get an evil Gabrielle, too. She's also capable of hate and betrayal, waddayaknow.

• The ghosts and the evil doubles lose their power when Xena, about to get whacked by the hammer, calls out to Gabrielle; she worries about her more than her own pain. Now they get a new chance to put aside recriminations and work on healing each other instead of bitterness.

• OH, AND ONE MORE THING: They have one small issue left: the matter of Xena's lie about Ming T'ien. Not just because he's still a problem between Xena and Gab, but also because he exposes Xena's hypocrisy. In all her righteous anger at Gabrielle for lying to her, for betraying her trust, she had put aside the small fact that she was guilty of the same thing. By this point, though, T'ien is small potatoes. Xena and Gab are quick studies: Xena 'fesses up, Gab forgives, and on they go.

• "ILLUSIA" - Callisto's introduction to Illusia, with the help of a bizarre chorus. Quite a catchy tune - I've had it going through my head for days now, drat it all. Callisto looks like Little Miss Muffet singing nursery rhymes in the midst of a kaleidoscope explosion of colors. And doesn't Callisto have some fun vamping it up with Xena? Just slap a "jungle gym" sticker on the warrior princess and call recess!

• "JOXER THE MIGHTY" - Joxer's introduction. Again?? We have seven other new songs; couldn't anybody come up with SOMEthing new for Joxer to sing? OK, I liked the "slightly nude" line and giggle. But let's let the joke rest, people - please?

• "WELCOME HOME, XENA/WELCOME HOME, GABRIELLE" - There's a few movements to this song as the warriors and the villagers welcome Xena and Gabrielle and then shove them toward the door to work out some issues with each other with the help of sharp, pointed instruments. I thought the song was thoroughly so-so, with Ares' solo telling Xena how hot she is being the high point. Nice "why thank you" hip shimmy - soak it up, Xena!

• "MELT INTO ME" - The Xena and Ares tango. Wow. Great song, fantastic costume. Don't miss the bone printing on Xena's blood-red dress. A hot, sexy dance around Gabrielle's cooling body, with Ares offering to take Gab's place as "your strength and support." What an image. And Xena's tempted, until the final dip brings Xena alongside Gab and reminds her of what happened all over again.

• Watch the long shots during the tango: Ares is in shoes, but Xena is in bare feet. I guess Lucy's juuust about the same height as Kevin Smith.

• "HURTING INSIDE" - Xena and Gabrielle find their common ground. Not a bad song, and the ending degenerating into a shouting match was a good idea, but could have really used some better dialogue.

• "HATE" - My vote for the weakest song of the episode. The chorus does Dr Suess.

• "LOVE WILL BE OUR GUIDE" - The centerpiece of the episode. This is the crux, when the emotions get hit head-on, and Xena and Gabrielle make the decision to not be ruled by their anger. Who would have guessed that this would happen while Xena and Gab were in mirrored positions on crosses - Xena vertical, Gab horizontal. This is the first duet of the episode; when Xena and Gabrielle decide to reconcile, their voices merge, too. It's a great musical image. Very Andrew Lloyd Webber-ish, and just as good as gettin' ya right here even when the lyrics are cornball as all get-out.

• "FORGIVE ME" - Xena's final solo and reconciliation. My main beef with this song: Gabrielle needed a verse and a chance at that chorus, too. Granted, Xena was talking about Ming T'ien, but it wouldn't have been bad for both of the ladies to have gotten a crack at saying 'Sorry about this whole mess.'

• LOONEY TUNES/CARTOONS: Callisto's exuberant "This is Illusia!" line from the center of the circling red disk looked straight out of a Looney Tunes intro. I half expected her to yell "And th-th-that's all, folks!"

• TAROT: Tarot card imagery was EVERYWHERE. I'll mention one: When Joxer appears and pulls Gabrielle from the water, he's swinging from the tree in the classic position for the Hanged Man. Check out what the Hanged Man is supposed to represent: "Suspense, life interrupted, change. Wisdom in occult matters. Sacrifice for wisdom, inner search for truth, change in your point of view." The symbolism heavy enough for you?

• THE WIZARD OF OZ EXPLODES ON ALICE IN WONDERLAND: The introduction to Illusia had the bizarre technicolor and effects that reminded me of shows like these. But my favorite goofball moment was the talking dog. That scratchy, high-pitched voice squeaking out of Toto cracked me up. (Speaking of Toto, did anyone else notice that the shot of the dog barking at Ares' castle was almost a duplicate of Toto barking at the witch's castle?)

• BIBLE/CHRISTIAN SYMBOLS: Do I even need to mention the cross (and Gab's similar position on the altar) or the donkey Gabrielle rides for a triumphal entry to her city? But even more direct was lyrics like "Forgive those you who'd harm you, do good to those who hate." Almost a mirror of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount when he tells people to "Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you."

• CLEANSING WATER: Water washes away conflict. Illusia is reached through water (and nasty, tear-into-pieces drowning), they pass through a waterfall to make their final peace with each other, and they end up, not in a hot tub for once, but in the rolling surf. (No subtext here, kids, move along, back to your homes...)

Dead heroes. Dead naked heroes."

So, the big question in my mind: Who did this? Who set up Illusia and sent Xena and Gabrielle there? Callisto's introductory song mentions the fates and destiny - maybe the Fates, still kind of warm and fuzzy toward Xena for saving their temple? Maybe Solan, which is what Gabrielle suggests... but where did he get that kind of power? Maybe Callisto: she shows up in the vision to Gabrielle BEFORE they hit Illusia, and acts as Xena's guide. Big problem: why would she want to help Xena? Last option I can think of: maybe Dahak set it up, hoping that Xena and Gabrielle would kill each other and feed off each other's hate enough to make him strong-n-powerful, in which case his plan backfired and Xena and Gabrielle didn't make it home so much as escape. I don't really buy any of those explanations. Whoever it was has some serious power; not only to make all that weirdness happen, but then to deposit the two women safely on the beach with Gab now in her traveling clothes and without a trace of the horse-drawn beating she took from Xena when it all started.

The Rift is dead, long live the Rift. Looking back over the whole meta-plot, I like the idea very much. All relationships, especially one as close as what Xena and Gab share, go through tough spots. It's good to pick up the snowglobe and give it a shake from time to time. I loved that the Rift built on multiple issues and slow burns, not on a single, stark argument out of nowhere. It was based on ambiguity; there was no clear right or wrong. Both Xena and Gabrielle were right about some things, wrong about others, and had motivations and intentions mixed up with actions and thoughts in a confusing mess that, darn it, is just like life. Thank goodness the writers gave our intelligence enough credit to make Xena and Gabrielle's issues complex. I did have a problem, though, with how it was timed - it was too broken up, too spread out. It's taken three and half months for this story to be told, including breaks for reruns and unrelated episodes ("Uhmmm, Leah? Meg? What about Hope?"), and that was too strung out.

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

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